A shot in the dark

Ed Hulver woke up one night with stabbing pains in his toes. The bedroom was dimly lit by the streetlights, and at the foot of the bed  he saw the most adorable little people, about 6 inches high, with ruddy faces and bright white teeth. Their chubby little hands grasped tiny forks and knives, and they glittered in the dark as the little people stabbed Ed's toes and sliced off little bits, greedily stuffing them in their mouths, with small drops of Ed's blood running down their chins.

Ed sat upright and screamed. "He's awake, let's go!" The little people jumped off the bed and scurried under the dresser while Ed fumbled for the light on the nighstand.

"Ed honey, what's wrong," murmed Betty. She then sat up , too. "Your feet, they're bleeding, they're getting blood all over the blankets!" Indeed, Ed's toes were bleeding, leaving smears of blood all over the sheets and blankets.

The next day Ed hobbled to his doctor's office. It was painful removing the bandaids stuck on the ends of his toes, and the gloves and face mask the doctor and nurse wore didn't help. "Just a shot in the dark, but it's looking like a staph infection, commonly called flesh eating bacteria. Let me give you a script for some new antibiotics, and I'll send in tissue samples for analysis. Call the office in a week if you're not better". All in all, only two hours from the time he started filling out forms to the time he left with a script. Ed figured he was better off not mentioning the little people.

Ed slept better that night, and better the next night, and the next. His toes started to heal.

Ed Hulver woke up one night with stabbing pains in his toes. "Hmmm, he's unusually piquant today, do I taste clindamycin?" "I believe you do, ooh, could you cut off that tasty slice for me". Through slitted eyes, Ed saw the little people clustered around his toes. Ed also saw his MCSE study guide sitting on the nightstand. Slowly he reached for it, and when he had it, he bolted upright. "Go, go, go!" 

Ed threw the heavy book at the little people, hitting one square in the back before it could get safely under the dresser. It lay there, the arms sticking out from under the book, until Ed saw four little arms reach from underneath the dresser, grab the flattened little person, and pull him under. So, they could be hurt.

"So what exactly do you need a handgun for?" The clerk had a helpful tone, as if asking for a handgun was the most reasonable thing in the world, and not an act of a desperate man.

"Personal protection, and dealing with some little varmints around the house."

The clerk set a small dull metal revolver on top of the counter. "This one is a modestly priced revolver, .38 caliber so it's not too hard on the novice, with enough power to stop most intruders and varmints". He placed a few boxes of bullets on the counter and took out one from each box. He held up a dimpled one "Use this one against intruders." He held up one looking like a time release cold pill, "Use this one againsts varmints, it's a shot shell that spreads like a shotgun". He held up a normal bullet "Use this one for practice, you should practice a few times. Now, I need your license and credit card, and you have to fill out this form."

Ed looked at the form, he had led a life free from trouble with the law, so ther were no convictions, and since he hadn't told anyone about the little people, he wasn't technically diagnosed with a mental illness. Easy enough to fill out.

"Okay Mr. Hulveri you checked out. Sign this slip and you're a gun owner. Take this card to the address on it, it's a friend's shooting gallery so you can practice a little."

It was 3 in the afternoon when Ed got home, Betty was still at work. He had time to clean the pistol like the guy at the gallery showed him, and stick it under his pillow, loaded with shot shells. It smelled slightly of oily metal.  Then a hot shower, he stank of gunpowder, and his arms were sore. Shooting a gun certainly wasn't like it was in the movies.

Ed Hulver woke up with stabbing pains in his toes. "Cut that piece loose for Harry here, his arms and legs aren't doing so well," said the leader of the little people, one hand holding a small piece of Ed's toe. Ed kept his eyes nearly closed, and ever so slowly slid his hand under the pillow. He grabbed the revolver, and turned the safety off. Slowly, slowly he brought it from under the pillow, aiming as best he could for the leader.

The gun firing in the small bedroom was a lot louder than it being fired in a large shooting gallery, with ear protectors on. Ed's ear were ringing, but he didn't care as he saw the leader of the little people fly back, his cherubic face turned into hamburger. Ed fired at the next little person, he hit his foot too, but he was getting used to that pain.

Betty woke up and started screaming. She looked at Ed, looked at his gun, and stumbled out of bed, running out of the bedroom.

The little people started running for the dresser, save for one, Harry perhaps, who was splayed on top of Ed's foot, his tiny arms and legs encased in white casts. He turned his head to look at Ed, his eyes gleaming red, and then turned back and bit Ed's toe. He was Ed's next target, and Ed's gun finished the job the MCSE book started.

The rest of the little people had scurried under the dressed. Ed stood up, his feet in extreme pain, and staggered to the dresser. A quick shove toppled it, sending Betty's jewely and face creams flying, and Ed saw the little people weaseling their way through a loose floorboard. The last one was Ed's next target, and then Ed emptied his gun into the floorboard. Betty's screaming became more rhythmic, and the streetlights started flashing.

"Who's the new nut, Demetrius?" An orderly was taking a break outside room 103. 

"Some guy who had that flesh eating bacteria, it was eating up his feet. The pain drove him so nut, he started shooting his feet. Of course, that only spread the germs, the docs had to cut off his feet. Crazy." Demetrius emptied the trash in Ed's room and pushed his cart down to the next one. The orderly resumed mopping.

Ed Hulver woke up one night with stabbing pains in his stumps.